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Writer's pictureBrett

You Can Parent with Hope Even in Chaos

Parenting has never been simple, but let’s be real—parenting today feels like a whole new level of challenging. I’m a parent myself, and as much as I adore my children, there are days when I wonder about me, about them, and about us.


Maybe you’ve felt the same? If so, you’re not alone. The pressures on today’s parents are immense, and they come from all directions: social expectations, economic demands, technology, and even the breakdown of traditional family structures.


The Unique Challenges of Parenting


Let’s start by acknowledging something that we often don’t say out loud: parenting today is hard. Really hard. It’s not just you, and it’s not just me. There are real, tangible reasons why so many of us feel like we’re barely keeping our heads above water.

 

1. The “Don’t Mess This Up” Pressure

My parents used to say, “There’s no manual for raising kids”? Well, in some ways, that’s true. But today, it feels like there are a million different manuals out there, all telling us different things. Instagram, Pinterest, and Facebook are full of picture-perfect families, offering up an endless stream of advice on how to be the perfect parent. But no one can lives up to that ideal. Especially not the people posting those pictures.


I can’t tell you how many times I have watched the mom work hard to get the perfect pic. Then once the have the pic I watch the family take off their fake smiles, completely disengage from each other while mom puts it up on social so everyone will know how much fun they are having!


Studies show social media can significantly impact parents' mental health. We are worried about the kids, rightfully so, but mom and dad aren’t immune.


A survey by the American Psychological Association (APA) found that 48% of parents who use social media feel pressure to portray their family as perfect, even when things are far from it . The result? We end up feeling inadequate, overwhelmed, and constantly behind.

 

2. The "We Broke It" Phenomenon

One of the most significant changes in parenting over the past few decades is the shift in family structures. The traditional nuclear family—mom, dad, and the kids—is no longer the norm. According to the Pew Research Center, only 46% of U.S. children are living with two married parents in their first marriage . This is a sharp decline from the 73% in 1960.

 

This breakdown in traditional family structures brings challenges no matter what social commentators say. Single parents almost always struggle with the dual demands of being both the breadwinner and the primary caregiver. Blended families face complex dynamics requiring constant navigation. And while many of these families thrive, the societal changes have undoubtedly added stress to the parents.

 

3. Money, Money, Money


The cost of raising a child today is staggering. According to the U.S. Department of Agriculture, the average cost of raising a child from birth to age 18 is now over $233,000—and that doesn’t  include college. For many families, this financial strain is a significant source of stress.


In addition to the direct costs of raising children, many parents are dealing with unstable job markets, student loan debt, and inflation. These economic pressures can make it difficult to focus on what really matters—spending quality time with our kids and nurturing their development.

 

4. The Digital Dilemma


Technology has transformed nearly every aspect of our lives, including how we parent. On the one hand, technology has provided us with incredible tools to connect with our kids, manage our households, and educate ourselves. On the other hand, it has also introduced a host of new challenges.


Many parents struggle with setting boundaries around screen time, both for themselves and their children. According to a study by Common Sense Media, children under 8 spend an average of 2 hours and 19 minutes a day on screens . For older kids, that number jumps to more than 7 hours a day. It is foolish to think this amount of time is not re-wiring our kid’s brains.

 

The Impact


1. Parents Are Burntout


Tired parents

The term “parental burnout” has been gaining attention in recent years, and for good reason. This state of chronic physical, emotional, and mental exhaustion stems from the overwhelming pressures parents face. According to a 2020 study in Frontiers in Psychology, parental burnout is associated with a higher risk of depression, anxiety, and even suicidal thoughts.  


When we’re burnt out, it’s hard to be the kind of parents we want to be. We’re more likely to lose our temper, feel disconnected from our kids, and struggle with feelings of guilt and inadequacy.

 

2. Broken Communication


With so many distractions and pressures, communication within the family breaks down. Parents might be too exhausted to engage in meaningful conversations with their children, or too stressed to listen attentively. Over time, this can lead to a disconnect between parents and kids, which can be difficult to bridge.

 

 3. Children’s Mental Health


The pressures of modern parenting don’t just affect us—they affect our children, too. Rates of anxiety and depression among children and adolescents have been steadily rising. Covid made things worse.

 

Finding Hope in the Chaos


Let’s talk about something even more important—how we can find hope in the middle of the struggles. As parents, we are not alone in our journey. We have a guide, a source of strength, and a beacon of hope in God’s Word.


The Magnetic Power of Grace


One of the most beautiful truths in the Bible is the concept of grace. Parenting is tough, and we’re going to make mistakes. But here’s the good news: God’s grace covers all of our shortcomings. In 2 Corinthians 12:9, the Paul writes, “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’” When we feel like we’re not enough, God reminds us that His grace is sufficient. Allow yourself to receive grace.


This grace doesn’t just apply to us as parents; it also applies to how we treat our children. Colossians 3:21 says, “Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.” This verse is a powerful reminder for us as parents to lead with grace, understanding, and patience, rather than frustration and anger.

 

Build To Last


It can be easy to feel like everything is shifting beneath our feet (sometimes because it is!). But Jesus reminds us to build our lives on a solid foundation. In Matthew 7:24-25, He says, “Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock.”


There is something solid in life; Jesus and His word. As parents, the best things we can do is build our family on the foundation of God’s Word. This means making time for prayer, teaching our children biblical truths, and modeling a Christ-centered life. Engaging them spiritually with the Bible. When we do this, we give our children a firm foundation that will help them navigate the challenges of life.

 

The Village


The Bible doesn’t specifically say it takes a village to raise a child. That is likely an African proverb. The reason the Bible doesn’t say it is because community is so woven into following Jesus that you can’t actually follow Jesus without a community!


The Bible speaks about community and fellowship. Hebrews 10:24-25 encourages us to “consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another.”


It can be easy to feel isolated in our parenting journey. But we were never meant to do this alone. Through our church, your Community group, and a few close friends, having a support system is crucial. These connections provide us with spiritual truth, emotional encouragement, clarity through wisdom, and practical help when we need it most.


Resources


Parenting is hard and we want to help. Don’t expect to be the perfect parent, instead strive to be the parent who makes progress.


As we finish our Sunday sermon series on My Not Always Functional Family, maybe you need to go back and be reminded again how God can take what is broken and still bring something good. You can check out the series on our YouTube channel.


Ingraham family

We have more. On Sunday, September 8th we will be joined by Special Guest Gary Ingraham of the Love and Truth Network. He will be sharing with his wife in our worship services about their life story, marriage, parenting and how they moved from shame to grace.


Gary will also be connecting with our Jr High and High School students on Wednesday night Sept 11th to help teens and families navigate life in 2024.


Finally, you don’t want to miss the Parenting To Thrive Seminar. It happens at MT Ridge on Sunday, September 15th from 1-5:30 PM. This is a powerful time designed with parents in mind. Whether you are parenting preschoolers or young adults you don’t want to miss this. Parenting To Thrive – in a Sex-Saturated and Identity-Confused Culture.



You can sign up here



We are eager to partner with you as you parent. It is a hard job but we are not without hope or help. We can follow Christ together and lead our families to do the same. God is For You, and Mt Ridge is For You!


Be on the lookout for more helps this fall as we share ways to build your marriage as well as additional tools you can use to help shape your family.

 

 

Would you like to see more content like this? Visit our BLOG


We love connecting with people. Visit us at mountainridge.church 


Finally, check our our YouTube channel for great videos designed to help you move forward

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